silence

silence has taken over this blog as my life has taken over my time.

so sorry.

suprisingly enough, I really do have things to say.

the time to say them just hasn't happened it.

they're coming I promise.

but for now, I'm going to take my nasel-congested face to bed in prepare for another marathon day tomorrow.

and Saturday after I take my midterm and sit in Finance for another five hours, I should have some time for you.

soon, my friends, soon.

Thanks

For those of you who read last night's complain fest/mini-freak out and responded with emails, texts, and phone calls--thank you.

Although I did have a mini-breakdown over the walk throughs, they went well. My wonderful principal and stellar department chair saved the day and explained the group that they COULD NOT come into my second period because it was only the second day of class. They did, in fact, come in waves throughout third (SELA) and fourth (Intro to Lit) and we did, in fact, knock their socks off with our wonderfulness (we=students and me)

Part of my mini-breakdown is that I do take the opinions of these people seriously and I know (because I've been apart of them) that the "debriefing" session that happens when they walk outside of the door can be good, bad, or ugly. I'd prefer to stay away from the ugly comments; I do have to see these people one day and they could very well be my future boss in the administrative job waiting for me.

Also, thanks to my mini-breakdown expression of frustration, my stellar department chair actually sat down with me for 15 minutes and helped me devise a plan for my "new" CAHSEE prep class of 8 students. We're going to spend awhile getting to know each other with a high interest novel (Bluford) and build up some critical thinking skills over the next two weeks. By then, she hopes to have an answer for me about the curriculum.

Whew, I can do cultural building and state standards through a high interest novel, that I think I'm pretty good at. You cannot beat a book where the main character's brother is killed in a drive-by shooting by page five and he is jumped into a gang by page eleven. I can do critical thinking... and I can do it well :) Ahhh, the feeling of peace again.

Too bad that feeling of peace didn't last as I prepare sub plans for the next two days of writing trainings... but that is a whole new complainfest for another day :)

stress

although yesterday was my last day of teaching for two weeks, I feel incrediably stressed out.

I am a planner. Doing things ahead of time makes me happy and calm, allows me to enjoy things that are happening, and makes me feel relaxed.

I decorated before Thanksgiving, had all the Christmas shopping done and wrapped before December started (minus Dave's family), and enjoyed my kiddos for the last two weeks of Christmas maddness at work.

Thursday started the stress feelings thought. Not only did I find out that my MIL, two SIL and BIL are coming up to Riverside to see the house (for the first and probably last time), but I found out that I am suppose to make 10 scrapbook pages for the 50th anniversary. The projects around the house are all half done (I haven't been pushing), my scrapbook stuff is still in boxes in the garage after a year...

needless to say, I've been incrediably busy today and I'm no where close to being done. The only thing Dave did today is make more of a mess.

Made it

This week went very fast, but that did not stop if from being incrediably stressful.

By Tuesday, my running nose began to turn into a croupy cough.

Des and I have been studying a little bit each night for the law final. While I am not nearly as confident as I was for the midterm, I'll be okay.

I didn't get any of the business letters graded, but I did mark off the ones who didn't turn it in in order to make an accurate negative grade report for them today.

Curves was a success Monday-Wednesday...

I've been in bed since I got home at 5 tonight, other than the trips to the bathroom I haven't moved. Dave was even wonderful enough to make dinner and bring it to me :)

Solutions

Stess has pretty much consumed my life. I joke about it, but it's pretty serious when my hair is falling out in chunks, my eye won't stop twitching, I developed a nasty cold in the middle of May, and I go from being extremely tired to wide awake at 3:30 in the morning. I dread going to work in the morning because of the potential conflicts and drama that may arise because of members of my administration.

All that said...

I believe that I took a very proactive step to eliminate some of the unnecessary stress in my life. Today, I turned in a transfer form with my principal's signature to HR to request a move in position. This position change will mean a change in schools and a change in curriculum I'm teaching, but most importantly, it will mean that I will work at a place where I don't feel like I have to watch my back every moment, second guessing everything I say.

As I mentioned before, my department was going to have an "involuntary" transfer where someone was going to HAVE to move. This works out well for me; I will become this involuntary, and as such I am required to be placed in a position somewhere in the district. It isn't final and 100% yet, but I look forward to becoming an Arlington Lion for the 09-10 school year.

At this point, this move is overwhelming in many ways and joyful in many ways. Thank you all for your prayers this morning; I felt like I walked into the meeting with my principal with God's hands wrapped around me and He was in control of the meeting.