When I was younger, I fought every battle. I defending myself and others to the nth degree, even if I should have just backed down. Some of the time I fought worthy battles that I could have walked away from and some times I fought worthless battles. I had (and still have) this compulsive need to stand up for other people that won't stand up for themselves. Some find that good, some find that bad, some even say that is why I'm a teacher and should have been a lawyer.
Looking back at the battles I've fought over the years a few things come to mind.
- Battles are exhausting, both mentally and physically.
- Battles create drama. I swear it isn't me creating drama :)
- Once I start, I cannot stop or back down (well, I could, but then I wouldn't be opinionated and bossy).
- Sometimes when I "win" I look back and wonder why I cared in the first time, other times I look back and still feel the anger that started the battle.
- I am proud of some of the results of my battles throughout the years and I think I have helped a few people along the way.
But the real insight that I've been pondering is that I have been battling less and less. I'm assuming that is the growing up process that it has taken me twenty-five years to learn--pick your battles wisely (the theme of my mom's email). I also wonder if I will eventually stop battling?
On a side note, I have clearly won today's battle with the yelled at kid. Today he was actually receptive, asked positive questions, kept his mouth shut the one time I corrected his behavior, and let me help him start his narrative. I hope this is our last battle and the war can be over, but knowing fourteen-year-old boys...
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