200 Medela Pump and Save bags... $98.71 (returned)
Medela Bottles and Milk Saving Kit... $21.99
Lanolin nipple cream... $9.98
Nursing breast pads... $4.55 (returned)
2 nursing tank tops... $37.96
2 nursing bras...$49.96
2 Nipple Shields... $5.10
Medela Breast Shield for pump... $4.45
2 (more) nursing tank tops... $37.96
2 boxes Organic Mother's Milk Herbal Tea... $10.98
1 bottle More Milk Plus Capsules... $31.95
1 bottle More Milk Special Blend Capsules... $31.95
1 bottle Fenugreek Capsules... $9.33
1 bottle Goat's Rue... $31.16
2 trips to Lactation Consultant... $10
Reglan prescription... $15
Womanly Art of Breastfeeding reading... 8+ hours
Internet Reading/Researching... 20+ hours
Kaiser's Breastfeeding Class... 2.5 hours
Time with Lactation Consultant... 3.5 hours
Pumping to Stimulate Production... 1 hour per dayX42 days... 42 hours
Trying to nurse Andrew despite him screaming... 5 times a day
Holding my precious baby while he eats happily from a bottle full of formula,
Staring down at him as as he stares up into my eyes,
Smelling his newborn goodness,
Realizing that I don't have to feel guilty,
Realizing that by continuing to push him to nurse is actually stressing him out,
Realizing that my son is the most important thing and that my desire to nurse shouldn't get in the way of that,
Realizing that he just needs to be fed emotionally and physically and I can do that anyway,
Realizing that I have to get my stubbornness out of the way...
PRICELESS
When my supply of supplements runs out in the next week or so, I won't buy more. I'm going to continue to pump three times a day (the only times I appear to even have milk there to pump out--morning, afternoon, and before bed) until my small amount of milk runs dry. My son will get the 2-3 ounces I pump out in addition to his formula of choice and we'll be okay.
Total financial cost: $681.48 Exclude the breast pump: $401.49
That is 28 weeks of Formula…more than 6 months worth!
Medela Bottles and Milk Saving Kit... $21.99
Lanolin nipple cream... $9.98
Nursing breast pads... $4.55 (returned)
2 nursing tank tops... $37.96
2 nursing bras...$49.96
2 Nipple Shields... $5.10
Medela Breast Shield for pump... $4.45
2 (more) nursing tank tops... $37.96
2 boxes Organic Mother's Milk Herbal Tea... $10.98
1 bottle More Milk Plus Capsules... $31.95
1 bottle More Milk Special Blend Capsules... $31.95
1 bottle Fenugreek Capsules... $9.33
1 bottle Goat's Rue... $31.16
2 trips to Lactation Consultant... $10
Reglan prescription... $15
Womanly Art of Breastfeeding reading... 8+ hours
Internet Reading/Researching... 20+ hours
Kaiser's Breastfeeding Class... 2.5 hours
Time with Lactation Consultant... 3.5 hours
Pumping to Stimulate Production... 1 hour per dayX42 days... 42 hours
Trying to nurse Andrew despite him screaming... 5 times a day
Holding my precious baby while he eats happily from a bottle full of formula,
Staring down at him as as he stares up into my eyes,
Smelling his newborn goodness,
Realizing that I don't have to feel guilty,
Realizing that by continuing to push him to nurse is actually stressing him out,
Realizing that my son is the most important thing and that my desire to nurse shouldn't get in the way of that,
Realizing that he just needs to be fed emotionally and physically and I can do that anyway,
Realizing that I have to get my stubbornness out of the way...
PRICELESS
Yes, this does mean that I'm "done" trying to breastfeed. Emotionally, I don't think I can handle the innocent rejection from my adorable son when he screams at me instead of trying to nurse. It isn't fair of me to continue to beg him to "just try."
When my supply of supplements runs out in the next week or so, I won't buy more. I'm going to continue to pump three times a day (the only times I appear to even have milk there to pump out--morning, afternoon, and before bed) until my small amount of milk runs dry. My son will get the 2-3 ounces I pump out in addition to his formula of choice and we'll be okay.
Total financial cost: $681.48 Exclude the breast pump: $401.49
That is 28 weeks of Formula…more than 6 months worth!
I am sure that all your hard work and the bit of milk you've been able to get him has been worth it health-wise. Sorry it's been so frustrating!
ReplyDeleteBaby Andrew has the BEST MOM in the world!! Your love for your baby is evident with your breastfeeding list. You never gave up. You did everything right! God will bless your endeavors. Love, Mom (Andrew's Grandma)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you! You are a great mom, and this is only your first difficult decision for Andrew's life. My heart goes out to you!
ReplyDelete-Rachel
Wow!
ReplyDeleteBut it must feel really good to know that you tried all you could. You are a wonderful mother, I'm so sorry you had to go through this difficulty.