We're sitting at Kaiser, waiting and waiting for Andrew's doctors appointment. After 35 minutes of waiting, Andrew is fully awake and I'm assuming hungry because he won't calm down no matter what I try. I prepare a formula bottle while he screams and I try to soothe him. Quickly, I pop the Breastflow Bottle into his mouth and he begins to suck away. The lady sitting next to me with maybe a 6 month old baby strikes up a conversation.
Lady: How old is your son?
Jennifer: He'll be a month old on Saturday.
L: He's so skinny.
J: Yep, he's long and skinny like Daddy thankfully.
L: I bet he's so skinny because you're giving him formula.
J (scrunched eyebrows, eye raised, but calmly feeding and looking at Andrew: It is just the way he is, but rest assured he is a piglet.
L: You really should be breastfeeding him. Your milk is 100 times better than that formula crap that you're feeding him.
J (eyebrows raised, big eyes, sending the 'drop it' vibes to this lady): Okay.
L: Seriously, breastfeeding is critical to a child's life. You can't be selfish when it relates to your child's well being.
J (gritted teeth, low tone of voice): We're working on it.
L: Work harder
At that moment the lady was called into the doctor's office and walked away while giving me a dirty look. If she had talked to me for another second, she would have been told the following:
J: Look lady, you have no idea what you're talking about and who you are talking to... you have NO right to tell anyone anything about how they should be raising their babies. You are not a doctor nor are you a child nutritionist. My child will thrive in a loving environment no matter if he eats breast milk or formula.
And as you preach at me, you should also be aware that I am trying and have been trying everything possible to feed my baby breast milk. You should know that I have done a ton of research, seen and talked to a Lactation consultant many times, am taking supplements that are more expensive than a week of formula, pumping every three hours, trying to breastfeed with a nipple shield all day and still only producing enough to give my son one ounce every other feeding, it takes 7 pumping sessions to produce 2 ounces that that isn't even enough for ONE feeding. And you tell me to work harder at it?! I'm sure you were one of the ladies that complained about sore nipples and engorgement, which is fine, but honestly I WISH that was the problem. Don't freakin' tell me to work harder...
But yes, I probably should be attempting to breastfeed him right now, but I am going to be "lazy" this time. I don't particularly want to whip out the nipple shield to breastfeed for a few minutes on one side to then reposition my son so I can move the nipple shield and feed him for a few minutes on the other side so that I can then feed him two more ounces out of the bottle that I now have in his mouth.
So shut up and mind your own business!
Now, I didn't say any of that, nor was I mean which is why my mom should be proud. Also, believe it for not, this is the second time someone has said something to me. The first time was in Target (but I walked away quickly so I didn't get as mad). Thankfully Susannah told me a story when someone said something to her about it, so I wasn't totally shocked.
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I think you're going to need to come over to my house and pick my jaw up off the floor. I am so shocked that somebody could say that to a new mother. Like we're not on the verge of a breakdown as it is, she has to try and give you advice on something she knows NOTHING about. She just brought rude to a whole new level. So sorry Jenni. You're doing a great job with him. Keep it up!!
ReplyDeleteWe all know that you are working as hard as you can to give Andrew breast milk. I'm shocked that another mother wouldn't have any concept that sometimes things don't work out exactly as planned and would be so rude about it. Hopefully you won't wind up getting too many more frustrating comments like that!
ReplyDeletebah! That lady is awful! I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI really can't believe you didn't say anything. I totally would have. oh man, you have some self-control girl! Just reading that I was hoping that the story ended with you going and finding her in her little room and telling her what's up and why she should mind her own business. I would like to see the reaction on HER face once she got the full story. But no, no one ever tries to figure that out, they just think everyone is in the same situation and therefore one rule covers all. gah! can you tell i'm frustrated with you?! ahahahh!
WOW. That is messed up. Apparently she is unaware not everyone lives in a perfect world constantly flowing with breast milk, and that being able to fully nurse is a privilege to be thankful for. At least the food your baby receives isn't flowing with judgement toward others. It's also upsetting that she couldn't just sit there feeling superior, but instead she had to say something about something that wasn't any of her business. She needs to "work harder" at not being a jerk.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am proud of you for not telling the lady off. You have past the "self-control" test of the day! In life God only cares about our reaction and response to situations; we can not control the circumstances, but we can control our tongue! Your God-light shined bright at the doctor's office today! Love, MOM
ReplyDeleteOh WOW! I do plan on BF, but I can't imagine ever just telling someone that it's the only way to go or belitting you like she did. What a b*tch.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that lady. BF is a committment and I stuck to it for 8 months, after that my body just gave up essentially. Your not any less of a mother for not BFing which is what I thought about myself at first. I understand the frustration with trying to produce more and doing everything you can. Keep it up!!! I told myself even though B was getting formula the little BM she got was better than nothing! :)
ReplyDeleteWe are all shocked by this woman, but I second your mom's response. Even without words, you were reflecting Christ. I am so glad you haven't given up yet. You will continue to figure out what is best for you and Andrew, but even in his very short time here, you are already teaching him what it means to show God's love and grace. You are doing swell, Mommy!
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