Biggest Loser: The Best

I rarely journal on paper; I like to process things outloud and through blogging; however, as I was cleaning out a drawer I found a journal with one entry. This is the first few sentences...

February 15, 2007

When I got on the scale today I saw 283 pounds and I didn't believe it. I got off, started crying, and got back on. Jennifer how did you let yourself gain it back and gain more? Do you not care that you'll have diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholosteral by the time you're 30! Even though I willed it to be a lower number the second time, 283 blinked up at my in those disgusting green digital lines. After I weighed myself I cried and haven't stopped.

Thank heavens this isn't the same Jennifer I am right now. Shortly after I wrote that, I put the journal in my drawer and promptly forgot I poured my pain into the pages. I don't think I ever told anyone about that day; however, I do know that I started "watching" and "thinking" about what was going in my mouth. A few weeks later, Anne emailed the whole school that we were going to have a biggest loser competition at CMS. On April 27th, we started the competition and I weighed in at 264.4. I was, by far, the heaviest woman. Thank God for Anne and that competition.

Kicking starting my weight loss and bringing back my confidence, I lost a pretty good chuck of weight. Because of BL, I decided that I needed to continue even after the competition was over. I convinced Tawni to go with me and we joined Weight Watchers on July 3, 2007.

Starting WW at 245.4 felt like an accomplishment. The first year of WW was successful as well and at my one year anniversary of WW I weighed 185.4.

One and a half years later, I am joining another Biggest Loser competition because I am still at 185 (actually 188 as of last Wednesday). This time I'll be doing it from January 5-May 15 through Curves; I'll have the benefit of a lot of food knowledge, WW support, and Curves support. My goal is to be at 170 by May, 18 pounds.

Ashley, my curves trainer, has promised to be a Jillian and yell at me when I am not pushing myself hard enough every day. We'll also have "last chance workouts" on Monday between 5-7 pm each week. Weigh-in days are Tuesdays!

Gone is that sad, morbidly obese girl.

She's been replaced with a strong, slightly-overweight girl :)